Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Feeling Blue

Hi guys,

I wasn't too sure about posting this as it's quite personal but then I though why not?? 

The point of my starting this blog was to document my weight loss journey. The beauty, reviews and tag posts are a happy bonus.

I wanted this little piece of the Internet to be my accountability and focus. Yes I'm only a month in but you have to start somewhere right?

Anyway I digress. I wanted to talk about the mental side of this adventure. It's all well and good for Katie Hopkins to say eat less and move more and she's right the theory is there but the reality is that, it's hard work!

The voice in your head saying one bite of cake or piece of chocolate won't hurt. The deep need to 'reward' yourself with a food treat after completing your exercise goal, which is so counterproductive it's not even funny.

Then the justification of 'you deserve it' comes into play. Why do I need to behave like a trained dog getting a treat for good behaviour? I'm an adult who did a bit of exercise? Aren't I supposed to move? Do I really need a standing ovation for that?

Next comes the doubt 'why are you doing this anyway?' 'what's the point?' 'You're too big now, it's stupid to bother' On and on it goes, spinning round and round in a crazy bid to get you to self sabotage and gorge on the delicious nasties the FDA thinks passes for food.

I hit my mental wall today. I feel like crying and shouting at the same time. I'm hormonal which means I want to eat my weight in junk and let me tell you, that's a lot of junk!

I feel like I deserve to feel like shite. I gorged on the wrong foods for too long and now I'm paying the price of my greed but at the same time I hate feeling like a victim to my brains negative thoughts. Like a black cloud over my head.

Don't I deserve to feel good about myself? To wear clothes in a colour other than black? To finally rock my heel collection?

YES I DO! Sometimes you just need to look yourself in the mirror and say 'yes you're worth it!'



My journey is only at the starting line. I'm going to need all the positivity I can to get to goal and continue a healthier and most importantly, happier lifestyle. 

To those on their own journey, I'm sending you a massive virtual hug! It's hard but then again being fat is hard too. You just need to choose your hard.

Thanks for reading.

Much Love,

Bex x

2 comments:

  1. This is a great post Bex, really enjoyed reading it! Thanks for sharing this with my community :)

    Zaineb - Blogging Gals Founder | www.zeenaxena.com ❤

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much :) means a lot.
      Love blogging gals :) x

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